September 2008

A cure for WSBA’s budget depression?

by WSBA Bar News Editor Michael Heatherly

Those of you who faithfully read your Bar News know that because of an odd confluence of factors — including the weak U.S. dollar, global warming, and A-Rod’s divorce — WSBA is facing a budget deficit. Surprisingly, the Board of Governors has not yet asked me for advice in this regard. Accordingly, I am sharing here my suggestions for boosting revenue and cutting costs.

To increase revenue:

1. Upgraded memberships. In addition to the standard WSBA membership, offer optional premium memberships with higher fees. For example: Silver members ($750) would receive a silver membership card, a WSBA “Trust Me, I’m a Lawyer” T-shirt, and 50 rewards points, redeemable at the ELP and online store (see below); Gold members ($1,000) would get a gold card, a polo shirt, and 100 rewards points; VIP members ($1,500) would get a platinum card, a blazer, 250 rewards points, priority seating at all WSBA events, and access to the VIP Lounge, featuring reclining chairs, a plasma TV, and a martini bar for winding down after that stressful section meeting.

2. WSBA merchandise. Make available at WSBA headquarters and the website a line of branded merchandise, e.g., WSBA-logo baseball caps, watches, and baby booties; a WSBA-themed version of Monopoly; a “Courtroom Bloopers” DVD; collector copies of the Bar News autographed by the editor; bobbleheads of WSBA officers and BOG members, etc.

3. The Experience Legal Project (ELP). Establish an interactive museum, open to the public for a fee, celebrating the legal profession in Washington. It would be designed by Frank Gehry to vaguely resemble a giant West reporter volume. In the “You Be the Judge” immersive attraction, visitors would sit on the bench in a mock courtroom and decide motions argued by lifelike robotic lawyers (actual robots, not monotonous human lawyers). Or, the whole family could explore the fascinating Hall of Justices, where wax figures of past Washington Supreme Court justices wear the actual robes of their eras (if the old robes still exist, and if they look any different from the current robes, which I suppose is unlikely). As a community service, ELP would offer iPlead, a computer lab where visitors would use touch-screen devices to print out their own simple pleadings for such things as name changes and small-claims court filings.

4. The WSBASonics. The NBA team has departed, but Seattle retained the name and is desperate for a replacement tenant at Key Arena. Rumors are that one or two other NBA teams may be for sale. Although it would require a significant initial investment, the long-term payoff could be huge. WSBA would buy the team and work out an arrangement to improve the arena. WSBA would save on operating costs by having members run the concession stands, sell tickets, etc., pro bono. Marketing would focus on the myriad possible puns combining basketball and legal jargon: “We’ll show you order ON the court!” “Our bench rules!” “WSBASonics — Class action!”

5. Supreme Court Recipe Book. “Chief Justice Alexander’s Constitutional Casserole,” “Justice Fairhurst’s Reasonably Prudent Bratwurst,” “Justice Chambers’s Common Law Chicken Kabobs.” This would be a runaway best-seller, available exclusively through WSBA. This also could be converted to a calendar, although that would require three additional recipes, possibly supplied by pro tems from the Court of Appeals.

4. Virtual cuss jar. WSBA members would download a jar icon onto their computer desktops and create a secure link between their bank accounts and WSBA’s. Then every time the member uttered an expletive, he/she would click on the icon, which would instantly transfer a fine to WSBA. This would rely on the honor system, of course, and each member would be allowed to choose the size of his/her fine. The greatest contributor each year would receive a trophy recognizing his/her generosity (and foul-mouthedness).

To reduce expenses:

Eliminate enforcement of CLE requirements and scrap the Disciplinary Program. Come on, you’ve fantasized about this, haven’t you? 

Bar News Editor Michael Heatherly practices in Bellingham and welcomes your comments (and recipes). He can be reached at 360-312-5156 or barnewseditor@wsba.org.